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I didn’t sleep, not properly. I lay on my side of the bed, staring into the darkness, listening to the sound of my wife’s breathing. She was sleeping, or at least she appeared to be. I wasn’t. Her question kept repeating itself in my head. “If you are allowed to marry four wives, why have
I have never understood why weddings come with so many instructions…Smile…Don’t sweat…Don’t step on your dress…Don’t cry too much…Don’t cry too little…Don’t eat too much…Don’t drink too much…Don’t forget your bouquet…Don’t lose your earrings…Don’t let your makeup artist ruin your face…And, obviously… Don’t forget to greet dead people.Yes.Dead people.That was the instruction that nearly ruined
My friends have convinced me that I am not doing anything wrong. That is how this whole thing started. Maybe that is also how most men get themselves into trouble. They sit with their friends, everybody talks confidently, everybody has an example, everybody suddenly becomes a relationship expert, and before you know it, you are
I should have stayed in Surulere. Maybe if I had stayed at home, I would have been sitting on my father’s old sofa, listening to everybody argue about the family problem. Maybe I would have been miserable, but at least I wouldn’t be hiding inside Madam’s wardrobe in Ikoyi, afraid to breathe. Let me explain.
I didn’t sleep. Well…my body slept but my mind didn’t. There’s a difference. I’m sitting alone in the sitting room, staring at the blank television. It’s off, has been off for hours, but I keep looking at my reflection in the black screen like somehow it has answers. My roommate, Femi, finally convinced me not to
I have discovered something about finding human remains…Television lies. In movies, detectives arrive dramatically, everybody wears sunglasses, someone removes a sheet, music plays but reality is considerably less glamorous. Reality involves yellow tape, confused officers, forensic photographers, people shouting instructions, and one very embarrassed software engineer trying to disappear before anybody asks difficult questions. Unfortunately…Life
People think the worst thing that can happen to a man is poverty.It’s not. The worst thing is watching poverty slowly remove your choices until you start doing things you once swore you would never do. If you had met me six years ago when I graduated, I was full of plans. I was going
At some point, I stop crying, not because I’ve accepted my fate. I think my body simply gets tired, there’s only so much panic one person can produce. I am still sitting on the floor beside the bed, the expensive carpet beneath me is wet from my tears. I don’t know how long I’ve been
There is a strange kind of silence that exists only after someone tells you they may have accidentally stolen eight hundred million naira. It is simply the silence that follows the realization that everyone in the room has begun calculating consequences…Mine included. I excused myself from the conference room before anyone could ask me what
If there is one thing adulthood has taught me, it’s that responsibilities don’t pause simply because your life has become impossible. My rent wasn’t going to pause because dead people had started following me. My electricity bill wasn’t going to become spiritually sponsored. My boss definitely wasn’t going to accept, “Sorry sir, I couldn’t finish