Humorous, witty, and entertaining stories inspired by the absurdities of everyday life.
I knew the holiday was going to be difficult, I just didn’t know it would be this difficult. My boyfriend and I had spent the final week of school complaining about the distance like two people who had just been informed that Nigeria and Ghana were now on different planets. “We won’t see each other
I should have stayed in Surulere. Maybe if I had stayed at home, I would have been sitting on my father’s old sofa, listening to everybody argue about the family problem. Maybe I would have been miserable, but at least I wouldn’t be hiding inside Madam’s wardrobe in Ikoyi, afraid to breathe. Let me explain.
University has a way of teaching you things that are nowhere in your course outline. It was a Thursday night and the weather was unusually cool, which in Lagos simply means you could sweat a little less than normal. Our room sat at the very end of the hostel corridor. Most rooms accommodated four students,
There are three things every Nigerian should avoid if they value their sanity. Going to the bank on a Monday.Driving when it has just started raining.And deciding to visit a local market after office hours. Guess which genius ignored the third one.Me. The annoying thing is that this whole adventure could have been avoided…If I
At some point, I stop crying, not because I’ve accepted my fate. I think my body simply gets tired, there’s only so much panic one person can produce. I am still sitting on the floor beside the bed, the expensive carpet beneath me is wet from my tears. I don’t know how long I’ve been
I wake up smiling, the kind of smile that happens before you even open your eyes. For a few seconds, I don’t know where I am. The sheets feel too soft, the room smells expensive, the air-conditioning is so cold that I pull the duvet closer and then I remember. My smile grows wider.Oh, right.
There are certain things nobody prepares you for in university. Nobody tells you that lecturers can disappear for three weeks and suddenly appear during tests.Nobody tells you that your roommate may own one plate, one spoon and somehow borrow yours permanently.And absolutely nobody tells you that in university, chairs do not belong to the school.
There is a particular kind of lie adults tell themselves, the small and comfortable lies. The ones that help you get out of bed every morning. Mine went something like this:You died.You came back.It was weird.Now everything is fine. For three months, I repeated that lie so often that I almost believed it.Almost. Three months
My name is Kelechi Nwafor.I’m twenty-six years old.I live in a one-bedroom apartment in Ikeja that is somehow too small and too expensive at the same time. I work as a software engineer on the Island, which means I spend a significant portion of my life sitting in Lagos traffic questioning my life choices. My
If you ask my father, I am a young man standing at the doorway of a bright future.If you ask my mother, I am her precious first child who simply needs a little guidance.If you ask my younger sister, Adesuwa, I am a walking collection of embarrassing stories she intends to weaponize for the rest