Humorous, witty, and entertaining stories inspired by the absurdities of everyday life.
At some point, I stop crying, not because I’ve accepted my fate. I think my body simply gets tired, there’s only so much panic one person can produce. I am still sitting on the floor beside the bed, the expensive carpet beneath me is wet from my tears. I don’t know how long I’ve been […]
I wake up smiling, the kind of smile that happens before you even open your eyes. For a few seconds, I don’t know where I am. The sheets feel too soft, the room smells expensive, the air-conditioning is so cold that I pull the duvet closer and then I remember. My smile grows wider.Oh, right.
There are certain things nobody prepares you for in university. Nobody tells you that lecturers can disappear for three weeks and suddenly appear during tests.Nobody tells you that your roommate may own one plate, one spoon and somehow borrow yours permanently.And absolutely nobody tells you that in university, chairs do not belong to the school.
There is a particular kind of lie adults tell themselves, the small and comfortable lies. The ones that help you get out of bed every morning. Mine went something like this:You died.You came back.It was weird.Now everything is fine. For three months, I repeated that lie so often that I almost believed it.Almost. Three months
My name is Kelechi Nwafor.I’m twenty-six years old.I live in a one-bedroom apartment in Ikeja that is somehow too small and too expensive at the same time. I work as a software engineer on the Island, which means I spend a significant portion of my life sitting in Lagos traffic questioning my life choices. My
If you ask my father, I am a young man standing at the doorway of a bright future.If you ask my mother, I am her precious first child who simply needs a little guidance.If you ask my younger sister, Adesuwa, I am a walking collection of embarrassing stories she intends to weaponize for the rest
Dear Diary, There are many ways to become famous. You can become a musician, an actor, a footballer, a politician, or an entrepreneur. You can invent something revolutionary, discover a cure for a terrible disease, win an award, or even change the world. What I did was slightly different. I became famous for sleeping. Not
I have always believed in rules. Not because I am a lawyer. Well, maybe partly because I am a lawyer. But mostly because rules are the only thing standing between civilization and what I can only describe as a highly organized form of madness. And nowhere is this more obvious than a BRT queue in
Most people don’t expect to die on a Tuesday.Especially not before lunch.I certainly didn’t. The day started the way most of my weekdays start: with disappointment.Specifically, disappointment in myself. My alarm rang at 6:00 a.m.I ignored it.It rang again at 6:15.I ignored it with even greater confidence.By 6:30, my alarm and I were no longer
People say honesty is the best policy.Personally, I think honesty is expensive. Honesty gets you into trouble.Honesty starts difficult conversations.Honesty forces you to explain things. Lies, on the other hand, are efficient.Elegant.Convenient.Like shortcuts. At least that’s what I believed until last Thursday.Now I’m not so sure. The funny thing is that I’ve never considered myself